Thursday 29 October 2026

The Archers — 2026-10-29

*Edited from an automatic transcript. Speaker identities are inferred; wording has not been verified against the audio.*

Scene 1

[00:00:58] George: Morning.

[00:01:03] Kira: What are you doing here?

[00:01:05] George: Checking you've gone to school.

[00:01:06] Kira: I'm just washing up. Mum goes mad if I leave my stuff in the sink.

[00:01:10] George: Then I'm going. You'll miss the bus, won't you? You won't get there in time, no?

[00:01:13] Kira: I'll be fine.

[00:01:14] George: Leave it, George. I can give you a lift. The bus is fine.

[00:01:17] Kira: Yeah, it would be if you were going, but you're not, are you?

[00:01:20] George: Of course I am.

[00:01:21] Kira: Well, I was. I've been looking forward to it. It's science.

[00:01:25] George: You've been looking forward to science.

[00:01:28] Kira: OK, but I was going.

[00:01:30] George: Was, right. I mean, we spent so long in A&E yesterday. I'm really tired. I don't think I'll be able to learn anything. I just keep yawning, see?

[00:01:42] George: Yeah, I see. Shouldn't you be at work?

[00:01:45] Kira: Yeah, I should.

[00:01:46] George: Well, go. Don't worry about me.

[00:01:48] Kira: Mum asked me to check on you.

[00:01:50] George: What's going on, Kira?

[00:01:51] Kira: I'm exhausted. I told you.

[00:01:53] George: Because you spent so long in A&E yesterday.

[00:01:55] Kira: Exactly.

[00:01:56] George: Yeah, when they couldn't find anything the matter with you. Funny that, don't you think?

[00:02:01] Kira: Well, it wasn't my idea to go. It was Will's.

[00:02:03] George: I think we need another chat, Kira. One skiver to another.

[00:02:06] Kira: I'm not a skiver.

[00:02:07] George: No, you were so ill you had to go to A&E, and then suddenly you were fine.

[00:02:11] Kira: Go to work, George.

[00:02:12] George: I'm going to be late anyway. Another half hour won't hurt.

[00:02:14] Kira: I'm not going to talk to you.

[00:02:16] George: Why not?

[00:02:16] Kira: Because I don't want to.

[00:02:17] George: Because you know I know.

[00:02:18] Kira: No, because I don't want to. I don't have to. You're not going to listen to me anyway.

[00:02:22] George: You've made a reminder.

[00:02:24] Kira: What if I promise I will listen?

[00:02:25] George: Oh, I'm going to my room.

[00:02:26] Kira: I'll talk through the door then.

[00:02:27] George: What?

[00:02:27] Kira: I'll put my music on.

[00:02:28] George: I can show it with the best of them, Kira.

[00:02:31] Kira: Well?

Scene 2

[00:02:35] Martin: All the records?

[00:02:37] Rex: Yes, please, Martin. To be on the safe side.

[00:02:39] Martin: That's rather a lot, Martin. I don't need printouts. E-copies will be fine.

[00:02:43] Rex: I'm putting everything I can together, so if there's trouble, everything will be to hand, and we can head it off at the pass.

[00:02:49] Martin: We're going back how far?

[00:02:51] Rex: Two years, do you think? All the details of any tree surgeries, any check-ups, follow-ups, all that.

[00:02:56] Martin: Do you use multiple service companies?

[00:02:58] Rex: A couple. Mostly the Grundys. They're local and very reliable.

[00:03:03] Martin: That shouldn't take too long, should it? You concerned about anything in particular?

[00:03:08] Rex: Well, apart from a falling tree nearly killing Vince Casey, you mean?

[00:03:13] Martin: Sorry. Obviously, that's important. If there's a claim, we'll need to show that BL as landowners and rewilding as tenants are completely in the clear.

[00:03:21] Rex: Investigations are still ongoing.

[00:03:24] Martin: Yes. Is there a problem? Is there likely to be a claim?

[00:03:30] Rex: That's the question. I popped up to the hospital last night to see how Vince was, poor chap.

[00:03:35] Martin: And?

[00:03:36] Rex: I don't know. He wasn't allowed in. Elizabeth said he wasn't up to visitors, though we're here on the grapevine. He's issuing orders via Freddie, so he's obviously awake and compass-mentous.

[00:03:46] Martin: Alan got turned away too, though. So it wasn't just me. I don't know if that means anything. Right. Seems par for the course for our vicar lately, though, wouldn't you say?

[00:03:55] Rex: Uh, I wouldn't know.

[00:03:57] Martin: So, can I expect all those records by, say, two o'clock? I'd like to have everything collated before the weekend.

[00:04:04] Rex: I'll dig out the details.

[00:04:08] Martin: And any associated emails, please. Belton braces.

[00:04:14] Rex: There.

Scene 3

[00:04:15] Kira: Well, I'm not drinking it.

[00:04:17] George: It's a mug of tea. I haven't poisoned it.

[00:04:19] Kira: You're being horrible.

[00:04:20] George: I made you tea.

[00:04:22] Kira: Well, it's got too much milk in. You make terrible tea.

[00:04:25] George: Keira.

[00:04:25] Kira: I'm too tired to go to school, all right? We were in A&E nearly six hours.

[00:04:30] George: Because they kept doing tests because they couldn't find anything wrong with you.

[00:04:33] Kira: That's not my fault.

[00:04:34] George: Do you know the state my dad was in when he got back yesterday?

[00:04:38] Kira: Keira.

[00:04:39] George: I did have a headache. The cut on my leg was red.

[00:04:42] Kira: And you played that for all it was worth, didn't you? See? Horrible.

[00:04:45] George: You know what happened to Nick. You're not a kid anymore.

[00:04:48] Kira: It wasn't my fault.

[00:04:50] George: Dad was scared you'd got sepsis. He was terrified you might die like Nick did because she left it too long. He was a complete wreck last night. It took me and Amber a solid hour to calm him down.

[00:05:03] Kira: I'm sorry.

[00:05:04] George: It was cruel, Keira.

[00:05:06] Kira: I didn't mean it to happen.

[00:05:07] George: Right. It wasn't on purpose.

[00:05:09] Kira: He got all worried and frantic and I couldn't get out of it. How could I? I didn't want to upset him. I was just trying to get off of school.

[00:05:18] George: It was only a catch-up class. Two hours of your life. You couldn't manage that. Why not?

[00:05:24] Kira: Stop shouting at me.

[00:05:25] George: I'm not shouting. I'm trying to understand.

[00:05:28] Kira: Because I'm a waste of space, all right? Is that what you want to hear?

[00:05:31] George: Of course I don't. Of course you're not.

[00:05:34] Kira: Why couldn't you just go to school?

[00:05:35] George: I hate it.

[00:05:36] Kira: Yeah, I get that. I hated school too.

[00:05:39] George: No, I mean really hate it. Really, really hate it. Oh, I feel sick every time I go through the doors.

[00:05:48] Kira: I know you think I'm just bunking off because I can't be bothered. But I can't bear it, George.

[00:05:56] George: I really can.

Scene 4

[00:06:01] Martin: I don't understand. This isn't a complicated request, Rex.

[00:06:04] Rex: I'm just saying there may be a delay. I'm not sure I have all the passwords.

[00:06:08] Martin: Of course you will though, surely.

[00:06:10] Rex: Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

[00:06:11] Martin: I'm not seeing the problem here. Call her and ask.

[00:06:14] Rex: It's not that simple. Text for then. Why does nobody under 50 like using the telephone anymore?

[00:06:20] Martin: I'll do it.

[00:06:20] Rex: Yeah, please don't.

[00:06:21] Martin: Rex.

[00:06:23] Martin: Rex, why are you being obstructive?

[00:06:27] Rex: I don't think I am.

[00:06:28] Martin: It feels like it from where I'm standing.

[00:06:30] Rex: What's going on here?

[00:06:32] Martin: There's an issue.

[00:06:35] Rex: Issue?

[00:06:36] Martin: The fallen tree, the one in question.

[00:06:39] Rex: Yes.

[00:06:40] Martin: It was checked back in the spring.

[00:06:41] Rex: Good.

[00:06:42] Martin: And a follow-up recommended.

[00:06:44] Rex: All right. When for?

[00:06:47] Martin: The next few weeks.

[00:06:48] Rex: Yes. It slipped off my list.

[00:06:53] Martin: I'm sorry.

[00:06:55] Rex: So the tree that almost killed a leading local businessman would weaker than it should have been?

[00:07:00] Martin: Possibly.

[00:07:01] Rex: Possibly?

[00:07:02] Martin: It was a very heavy storm. The tree may have been fine. But we'll never know, will we? Because someone failed to book in a re-inspection.

[00:07:09] Rex: That was me. I forgot.

[00:07:10] Martin: Forgot.

[00:07:11] Rex: I take complete responsibility.

[00:07:13] Martin: Forgive me, Rex. Just at the moment, I'm not finding that much comfort.

[00:07:18] Rex: Please don't say anything else.

[00:07:20] Martin: I'm sorry.

[00:07:21] Rex: No, no, no. I don't want to hear that.

[00:07:26] Martin: I'm finding it hard to know how to respond, Rex. Because if I were to share how I'm actually feeling right now, they would be a loud, possibly obscene, and very violent confrontation. Which I think is best avoided, don't you?

[00:07:39] Rex: Yes.

[00:07:40] Martin: You do have the passwords, then. You can send me the documents.

[00:07:42] Rex: Yes.

[00:07:44] Martin: By two o'clock, please. I shall have to take this to the BL board.

[00:07:49] Martin: I'd like you, Rex, and I like what you've done here. But you must see that this is potentially catastrophic.

[00:07:55] Martin: Vince Casey could sue for hundreds of thousands of pounds. More if he doesn't walk again.

[00:08:00] Rex: Sue BL, you mean, as land owners?

[00:08:03] Martin: That all rather depends, Rex.

[00:08:05] Rex: On what?

[00:08:05] Martin: On what's in the contract with rewilding. I'll be in touch.

[00:08:09] Rex: But Martin, what is in the contract?

[00:08:11] Martin: I'll be in touch.

[00:08:13] Rex: Oh, damn, damn, damn.

Scene 5

[00:08:25] Rex: Helen?

[00:08:27] Helen: No, sorry, I can't quite hear you. I have to see you, Helen. Can I come over now?

Scene 6

[00:08:36] Keira: Here.

[00:08:37] George: Feeling any better?

[00:08:39] Keira: Not really.

[00:08:40] George: Do you want a sandwich or something? Or a bit of toast?

[00:08:42] Keira: Why is this you trying to be nice?

[00:08:44] George: Maybe.

[00:08:44] Keira: Why, it's not working.

[00:08:46] George: I can see that.

[00:08:48] Keira: So.

[00:08:50] George: So what?

[00:08:51] Keira: Why don't you want to go to school? Is someone bullying you? Is it because of a boy?

[00:08:57] George: Oh, I see.

[00:09:01] George: What? Oh, that's great, George. Absolutely great.

[00:09:03] Keira: What do you mean?

[00:09:04] George: Oh, my sister is upset, so it must be a boy. Oh, wait. Maybe it's her time of the month. Or maybe she's just hysterical and irrational. Girls are, aren't they?

[00:09:13] Keira: Sorry, sorry. Honestly. I didn't mean it like that.

[00:09:16] George: Well, try thinking before you open your mouth.

[00:09:18] Keira: I said sorry.

[00:09:21] George: OK. I just want to understand.

[00:09:25] Keira: It's not just one thing. It's everything, everything on top of everything else.

[00:09:31] George: OK.

[00:09:31] Keira: I cope with school most of the time, don't I? I get myself there. I make it to the end of the day. I do my homework.

[00:09:38] George: Sure.

[00:09:38] Keira: The holidays. Well, I need the holidays, George. I need to, I don't know, refuel, recharge myself just so I can face going back in.

[00:09:48] George: Is it the work?

[00:09:50] Keira: Well, yeah. That's hard. Some of it's really hard.

[00:09:53] George: I found that too.

[00:09:54] Keira: But I'm thick.

[00:09:55] George: You're not. You're not thick.

[00:09:57] Keira: What about your mates? Henry and Khalil.

[00:09:59] George: I mean your mates at school.

[00:10:01] Keira: Exactly. Henry and Khalil. They're great. They get me.

[00:10:05] George: You've got other mates?

[00:10:06] Keira: People I know, not mates. I don't even like most of the merch.

[00:10:10] George: I get through it because I can walk away and calm myself down, especially in the holidays, when I don't have to be anything.

[00:10:17] Keira: So the extra class is...

[00:10:19] George: Why do I need maths? I can add up and multiply and stuff. That's all I need. I've got a calculator on my phone if there is a problem. I don't need Venn diagrams or equations of working out how many empty small jars Julie has.

[00:10:33] Keira: What?

[00:10:34] George: It doesn't matter.

[00:10:34] Keira: Who's Julie?

[00:10:35] George: It was a homework question. It doesn't matter.

[00:10:37] Keira: Well, science is stupid too. Who cares? History's the worst. Oh, I hate history so much. It's really upsetting.

[00:10:45] George: History?

[00:10:46] Keira: It's just people endlessly killing each other and taking stuff that doesn't belong to them and being hateful to everyone else. Really hateful. I'm going to get enough of that when I turn my phone on.

[00:10:57] George: You see?

[00:10:58] Keira: Yeah, I'll see.

[00:11:00] George: Thing is, you have to go to school. You need your exams.

[00:11:04] Keira: Everyone says that.

[00:11:05] George: They're not making it up. Please don't do what I did.

[00:11:08] Keira: Go to prison, no chance.

[00:11:10] George: Keira.

[00:11:11] Keira: What did you mean then?

[00:11:13] George: I didn't listen in school. I thought it was a waste of my time. I thought I could blag my way through life. I only realised in prison how many opportunities I threw away.

[00:11:23] Keira: Like I said, I'm thick.

[00:11:25] George: Stop it, George.

[00:11:26] Keira: I must be. To have thought I didn't need qualifications.

[00:11:30] George: You've got a decent job.

[00:11:31] Keira: Yeah, because of Amber's dad. Not because of me. If I don't get a proper job in farming, I'm going to have no chance in life, Keira. None. And that means Storm won't either. It's scary.

[00:11:44] George: I hear what you're telling me and I understand the pressure you're under.

[00:11:47] Keira: Well, enough of it anyway.

[00:11:49] George: But please, please don't make your life any harder than it needs to be. Go to school. Stay and sit your exams. It'll be worth it.

[00:11:58] Keira: You think?

[00:11:59] George: I know it seems like a really long time until you can leave. But honestly, it isn't. Hang in there. Find a way.

[00:12:05] Keira: I don't know if I can.

[00:12:07] George: Maybe you'll surprise yourself.

[00:12:10] Keira: What are you going to tell mum?

[00:12:12] George: Well, it depends. Are you going back to school next week?

[00:12:16] Keira: I suppose.

[00:12:17] George: And you'll stick to it.

[00:12:18] Keira: I said so, didn't I?

[00:12:20] George: Then I'll tell mum you're puking your guts up when I got here.

[00:12:23] Keira: Charming.

[00:12:24] George: And I wouldn't drive you in case you were sick in the car.

[00:12:27] Keira: All right. Deal?

[00:12:30] George: Deal.

[00:12:32] Keira: Hug.

[00:12:32] George: Oh, no way. Look, I'd love a bit of toast.

Scene 7

[00:12:40] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: You have to tell Kirsty there's no alternative.

[00:12:42] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: I can't. There's no way she'd want you to get into trouble for her mistake.

[00:12:46] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: I called her straight after I called you.

[00:12:48] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: Did you say anything?

[00:12:49] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: No, no. I nearly let it slip. But then she told me the midwife was with her. She's being monitored daily now. Her blood pressure's through the roof. I can't put any more stress on her.

[00:12:59] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: What a mess.

[00:13:01] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: Look, I've told Martin I'm to blame. I'll just take the roller king from the BL board, leave Kirsty out of it completely.

[00:13:08] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: And have Vince sued?

[00:13:10] Unknown / likely Helen and Rex: I don't know. I'll just have to hope for the best.

[00:13:31] Ad break / promo text repeats.

Uncertainties

- [00:01:10] “Leave it, George. I can give you a lift.” speaker at this point is unclear in the source; kept as Kira/George dialogue by context.

- [00:02:35]–[00:04:14] Speaker labels around “Martin” and “Rex” are inferred; the transcript’s turn-taking is noisy.

- [00:04:57] “because she left it too long” may be slightly mistranscribed; meaning preserved as close as possible.

- [00:05:56] “I really can.” appears to be a misrecognition or clipped turn; kept as supplied.

- [00:06:15] “Tex for then.” is unclear wording; retained as [unclear: original wording] equivalent? Here preserved in cleaned form only as uncertain speech.

- [00:07:55] “leading local businessman” and [00:06:55] “would weaker” are likely recognition errors; context suggests “would have been weaker,” but exact wording is unverified.

- [00:08:25]–[00:08:31] The call with Helen is partial and speaker identities are uncertain.

- [00:10:06] “most of the merch” is unclear; retained as supplied.

- [00:11:31]–[00:11:39] The “decent job” passage seems internally inconsistent, possibly misattributed or transcribed; review needed.

- [00:12:40]–[00:13:10] Final exchange has uncertain speaker identities and likely involves Helen, Rex, and Kirsty-related context, but the audio source is not verified.